Thursday, January 15, 2009

Why I often need a glass of rye at the end of the day.

We all have our reasons, right? Well, here's one of mine.

On a recent airline flight (an occasional luxury), I paged through the "Early Spring 2009" Sky Mall catalog.

Ah, Sky Mall. Thanks, Sky Mall, for focusing on the bright side--"Early Spring 2009" and not the more accurate "Midst of Unending and Brutal Winter 2009"--of things.

Now I don't normally look at the Sky Mall catalog (except as it pokes out of the seat pocket in front of me, of course). It's the ultimate example of the consumer-oriented society that we, in the United States, live in. The consumer-oriented world that is destroying the real physical world, real relationships between real (and not virtual) people, and any sense of reality. Sky Mall is the ultimate end of that long road late 19th-century Americans began walking down when they received the Sears catalog through the mail. A form of shopping that provided liberation (and basic goods) to middling farmers in rural areas far from stores in town now peddles absolutely useless crap to upper middle class travelers with homes already stuffed full of absolutely useless crap. The whole enterprise assaults the sensibilities of any right-thinking rye drinker.

Despite my jaded take on Sky Mall, I admit to finding myself transfixed by the item for sale on the cover. Did I say transfixed? I meant sickened.

In the midst of an economic crisis unlike any since the 1930s, battles on the streets in Gaza , Iraq, Iran, Sudan, Afghanistan, and Somalia (to name just a few), destructive changes to the planet's climate, and intensifying inequity in global populations (about half the planet struggling daily to find enough food or water to survive), I can soothe myself with "the limited-edition Star Trek Captain's Chair life-size replica!"

Wow! I've always wanted to spend $2,717 on a chair! But you say it's not just any chair?

"This officially licensed replica features a working swivel design, light-up controls and sound effects from the legendary Star Trek series. Constructed using expert measurements and the highest quality durable materials, don't miss your chance to command your own Starfleet vessel from the safety of your home!"

Highest quality durable materials? Expert measurements? Light-up controls? My own Starfleet vessel? Yes!

We are so screwed. I know it’s a little early, but I need to go make myself a Manhattan.


DrDaRyL said...

"Jim Beam me up, Mikey!"

A rye-drinker said...

I hate Star Trek and everything associated with it. What can I say?